Tuesday, July 26th, 2005 1:46PM PST

Sex, Does it do a body good?

“Find Real People Looking for Sex Near You!” - adultfriendfinder.com’s slogan.

This is interesting, ‘real’ local people near you, looking for sex. Hmm, if it’s just sex their looking for, then does that make them real? What is real? What is sex? I mean, it’s a massive euphoric phenomenon that happens all too quickly, and then it’s over after you’re done and most likely the only thing you’ll remember is the fact that you did it, and not all of the wonderful details. It’s like, these ads, are they really advertising something, or are they just telling you what you’ll soon forget after you’ve done it, just to make a quick buck? I mean, I’m looking here at a picture of a man and a woman both engaged into a kiss, one of those nice and closely intimate ones that cradles both of their bodies, whether warm or cold, or wet or whatever descriptive word that they choose to describe that slippery emotion of lust, and here I’m sitting, and thinking about the reality of it. They’re going to get really tired of eachother, really quickly. Passion wears you out. It’s one of those ergotrophic things that makes you breathe hard, until you’re just tired of doing so. And I mean, it’s not like it’s an actual healthy workout, or anything. Do people have sex so that they can release their stress or do they do so as an experiment? Why do people have sex anyways? Is it biological? I mean, if you’re sitting here, and looking at this picture of these two sexual lust-ifiers in their little pose for long enough, then eventually you’ll realize the same thing that I do, that they are just two bodies, doing something which will have no real endgame. They are young kids too, probably in their mid-20’s (which is about my age too of course, but still, that’s considered young because that is the age when the hormones haven‘t died off yet). By the way, if you were wondering, then yes, that comment was marked directly towards you.

This is just one of those drug euphoria things, I suppose. Who knows? But just to think that we live in an entire world of sex-crazed people who can’t get enough, that they actually need a global ‘website’ to meet up, this is something that makes you think. I mean, sure you can believe what you want to believe, that your English professor, Mrs. Grittlebun, is a very pure and healthy woman who just loves to teach passionately, or perhaps your mailman Mr. Bobbawich who waves friendly-like at the neighborhood kids is just waving because he is “…feeling good about how beautiful a day it is…“, or even that your own best friend talks to you about sports because he or she is really excited that their team is “…going to win this season…“, but in truth, all of these freaks just want to get it on with someone, probably even with you and you don‘t even know it. And the whole idea that people are watching over one another, privately, so that you don’t even know they’re there, this is sort of unnerving. I mean, think about it, there could be someone right next door listening to you and your partner(s) [I threw the plural in there for people like you], as you’re having sex loudly moaning, and they are probably getting off on that. Infact, they have probably already called up one of their ‘friends with benefits’ so that they can come over and listen to you and your mate(s) doing your thing, just so that they can do theirs. And even more frightening than that, imagine this: You love to do the same thing, while they’re having sex…and the process, logically, infact, NEVER ends! To think that something like this is possible, is as scary as thinking that it is a “reality” for some people. Take a coffee break or something. Is sex a contagious virus or something? I mean, if it weren’t for sex, then would we have sex? What if people were all born without sex organs? Would it be a different world? Would we have war, or maybe babies, or even gender roles? Of course, this is just a superficial question, but I suppose I have to start somewhere. Just seeing that there are all of these websites and places that people can meet up just to make a random rendezvous makes me think about our humanity and what it is by my best personal definition or at least by guestimation. Now, I am still a virgin, a 24 year old virgin--no, wait, let me rephrase that, “I AM a ‘24’ year old ‘virgin‘,” so I still don’t know what the whole sex thing is all about. Is it like having a beer for the first time, where all you do is just relax in the moment, until you just pass out from the sheer bliss of it? Then when you wake up, does your lover or partner wonder where you went that whole time after they had done whatever they had to do to you to make you do that? Do they slap you in the forehead with their palms to wake your happy-ass up, so that they can get their turn? Why is it that people have to have turns at a thing like that? I mean, the whole idea is that the person has given the other person the pleasure. I suppose that some nights, some people think that there is only the right amount of time in their industrious schedule to only accommodate one of the sexual partners, and just to leave the other person hanging until the next meeting, where that partner had so mysteriously forgotten about the prior agreement, to do them instead. Listen to that! It’s a Microsoft business meeting!!! A thing like this has to be questioned. When people kiss, why is it that they close their eyes? Is it because they are afraid of who they might be kissing, and that they might not be as beautiful as they have imagined? Is it an ego thing to just absorb another person‘s essence into their being? I see this picture and the two “lovers” are kissing with their eyes closed. Do women like men with hairy arms? If they do, then what reasoning could they provide for a ‘yes’ answer to that question? Another thing too, that I noticed about this picture is that the woman is wearing this extremely large, round ear ring. Don’t you think that it would be more practical and probably more ‘healthy’ if she would have just taken that off before they started to do the kiss in the first place? Or is she just giving this guy a shot, like Cinderella and finding her lost condom--I mean--shoe? And another thing, why is it that people like this should wear any clothes? I mean, why can’t they just get a day job to where they don’t have to dress up at all? I’m sure that it’d be more practical, especially if all they’re looking for is ‘real’ people to have ‘sex’ with. This would probably limit their search a bit. Perhaps if they didn’t wear any clothes, then they wouldn’t have a reason to want to have sex all the time with complete strangers. They wouldn’t be strangers anymore after that, which would eliminate the whole sexual fascination.

And here’s a thought for you believers of absolution out there: If you totally denied sex altogether, then would you just be afraid that you’re even more of a sex fiend than the other person who doesn’t deny it ever? And on the opposite spectrum of that, if you’re a person who loves sex so much, that you can’t get enough of it, then are you hopelessly addicted to it? Is there truly a middle ground for such a passion? How about for drinking coffee? Beer? Am I addicted to chemical drinks because I think about them? What is an addiction, but the refusal to accept denial? And denial of what? Are people just bound by these physical natures because they can‘t find some spirituality to mix in with it? Even for a spiritually oriented person, are they just as sex-hungry as the next cat in heat down the street? I know, thinking about this makes your head hurt, but if you turn back now, then you must be a person who is still in denial of the truth, whatever that is.

I mean imagine this, you’re in bed, getting pounded or rode on by this amazing love-god or goddess and you’re thinking, “Oh!! Yes!!! I met you online!! I don’t even know who the fuck you are, but goddamn, ride me like an endangered rhino!! I am so gosh darn ready for you!! Take me now!!” Then you have to wonder this, “What is the other person thinking?” Maybe their whole take on the experience is not necessarily sex in general, but perhaps their reason for getting together with you was a completely different motive, like say they had to work on their form or maybe boosting their morale or something. Then how would they respond to a thing like that? There are so many different reasons a person out there will go to find their sex partners. Yes, there could be these amazing looking people, who just knock your socks off at first sight, but what are they really, after you’ve already deflowered them, but just plain old human beings? Do you suppose that porn stars just do sex so that they can prove to the world that they are just about as worthless as all of the other ‘lookers’?

Just think about the practicality in sex. You are sucking someone’s face, then something else, and so on and so forth, until you’re done sucking it and doing whatever else you’re done doing to it, and then boom, you’re done. Wait 24 hours again, or whenever this person is ready to do it to you next, and you’ve started the process all over again? What is sex but vacuuming the rug, or maybe milking the cow? It’s not even dirty, and there’s not even milk in there!! But I guess if you fall in that category, then philosophically, you at least tried to look to make sure.

Do you really get anything out of it in the end? Is it an experience, or just a mythological pleasure? Is it a subconscious art form? What drives people to have sex with eachother, especially noting this whole conformity of testosterone and estrogenic driven global races of people? I guess I am just too much of a practical thinker to really understand the whole scenario, that and I am notably a ‘24’ year old ‘virgin’. Yes, say it all you want to. Go to the top of Mt. Everest and scream it to the eagles to see if they’ll start laughing about it too, I don’t care, but the question remains: “What is the future of this abomination we call physical intercourse?” Will the computers decide who fucks and who doesn’t? And for the people who aren’t fucked, then are they fucked indefinitely by the intervention of new cybernetic technology? What will we think sex is, once we’ve already scientifically and psychologically implemented it into our computer servers and our hardware? When farmer John got lonely, he had to go to the barn and find an animal, but in comparison, isn’t that what we’re doing when we’re watching our computers and doing it, or even a magazine, or a movie? Have we been fucking machines for the entirety of our human civilization? The human body is even a piece of machinery after a while. I at least know this from my artistic experience, from drawing it all the time. Where has the true spirituality of sex gone to, in this day and age? Has it gone to ones and zeros? Are we infact doomed to find our mates or even our lifelong partners through an industrialized piece of digital networking?

What is the world going to become, when we can’t even have a wet dream, without the computer keyboard being a part of it?

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